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I have to tell you: On May 1st, I had surgery on my left hip… Full prosthesis placement. On May 28th, if all goes well, it will be the turn of the right hip.
And last night I slept very poorly. They gave me less medication last night.
« If you’re in pain, don’t hesitate to ring » but what is pain? « From 0 to 10? » But compared to what?
I know the principle, I know the scale and I still find it very difficult to place.
I’m in pain, it’s normal, I had surgery. From when is it a problem? When I feel like crying? When it prevents me from sleeping? Or just when it bothers me?
Many questions in bed while I regret not being able to stay long in the arms of Morpheus all at once.
Yesterday evening, anti-inflammatory at dinner, around 5:30 PM, then paracetamol at 11 PM. Midnight, routine visit: « I’m not sleeping, can I have the muscle relaxant? ». They give it to me. « If you’re in pain don’t hesitate to ring ». Yes but if they give us less medication isn’t it because it’s important to give less? Otherwise why do it? Why not give the same thing every evening without distinction?
There are plenty of possible reasons, too many. Too many for me. Too many pending questions, maybes. Maybe it’s to limit toxicity. Maybe it’s to save money. Maybe it’s to better monitor the evolution of pain and general condition. Maybe it’s all of that. Maybe it’s just an organizational problem with the night team.
« If you’re in pain, don’t hesitate. »
Every other day, around 5-5:30 AM they come by. I see the time so I wait because if they’re doing rounds, they’ll be busy with other patients.
6 AM. Still nobody. I ring. A few minutes later: « Did you ring? ». « Yes, I slept very poorly, I had less medication and this morning I’m starting to hurt. 3-4 on the scale » (Richter scale… It shakes a bit). « We’re both busy, I’ll come back to you in a few minutes »
Maybe two minutes? Maybe 20? Or will it be 40? They don’t really give me a choice. Politely, but it’s unequivocal.
He comes back 10 minutes later. Two morphine tablets. I’m surprised. I wonder. Why didn’t they give me any yesterday evening? And why this morning does he give me morphine and not novalgine like other days? Too many questions. And if I ask it, they won’t know how to answer me. They never know how to answer me. Because there is no answer. It’s subjective. It’s subject to the judge’s appreciation. The one who at moment T must determine the best action, the best reaction to someone who rings and asks questions.
« But why didn’t you ring earlier? »
For all of that. Because there are too many pending questions, too many possible reasons to have, to not have, to know how to express or to be wrong.
I’m exhausted this morning. I feel like crying. A few tears flow. I know it, it’s exhaustion. The body fights, works tirelessly to repair the construction site of my hip prosthesis.
I’ll sleep later. When the morphine has taken effect, everything will be better, for a few hours. We forget quickly. And that’s for the best.